These are not the droids you're looking for
I'm going to be honest with you, it's too late. The only way to see this page is if you are trying to participate in a promotion that has already ended. If that's the case, then our computer system is assuming that you did not act on our generous offer. And our computer system is really sad.
And you know what? I am not a big fan of big, oily robot tears either. So I hope we can still work together to teach you Google Analytics. Because I really love teaching Google Analytics.
So how should we proceed? If you still want to learn Google Analytics, and just ran out of time on this promotion, I completely understand. We still want to help you become an Google Analytics expert.
Let's do this: you send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, with the subject line "Big oily robot tears" or fill out this form (be sure to mention the robot though).
Tell us your story about what happened, and why you want to learn Google Analytics. And we'll see what we can do to help you on that mission.
Founder of Analytics Course
P.S. If you found this by some other means, then you should also email me and tell me how. Because it's super creepy and I feel a little violated.